Information, tips and tricks you can use every day!

Negotiation Skills: Top 10 Ways to Lose a Negotiation

Posted by on May 16, 2012

Negotiation SkillsIt’s like a bad dream: You arrive at a negotiation without the tools and tactics you need to produce a win-win outcome. Things go horribly wrong, and everyone leaves with a bad taste in their mouth. In fact, you’re sure that the other party wants nothing more to do with you. Even if you technically “won” the negotiation, it’s not a true win. We call this a lose-lose outcome.How do you avoid a repeat? First you need to know what notto do. There are many ways to lose a negotiation. Here are the Top 10:

  1. Fail to plan ahead
  2.  Go in with a combative attitude
  3.  Have no idea what you can offer and when to walk away
  4.  Arrive without responses to the other party’s likely objections
  5.  Assume you know what the other party wants
  6.  Fail to address the other party’s questions and concerns
  7.  Ignore the underlying power balance
  8.  Fail to neutralize the other party’s negative tactics
  9.  Narrow down the negotiation to only one issue
  10. Negotiate a win for you that results in a loss for the other party

One or more of these are probably familiar to you. We all have to start somewhere, right? The worst part is, any one of these actions is enough to sabotage a negotiation and possibly the whole relationship.


Remain calm and listen! Influencing to overcome objections.

Posted by on July 5, 2011

Get Adobe Flash player

When you have that all-important influence conversation, trying to get someone’s help or cooperation, you may run into some difficult objections from the other person. This often seems like an impossible challenge, since you were really hoping to lay out your request and get immediate agreement. When you meet resistance, panic sometimes sets in–causing you to sabotage yourself during the influence encounter, destroying your chances of a successful outcome.
But instead of giving in to panic, remain calm! All will be well. Remember that listening is key. Of course, really listening to the other person involves understanding, responding to, and overvcoming any objections they have to your request. And believe me, you will almost always hear an objection or two!

So, how do you handle objections in the proper way—without getting upset and shutting down the conversation? Well, here are 4 proven ways to keep that positive influence dialogue going:

  1. Things to Avoid:
    • Do not get defensive! I can justify that… But…
    • Do not avoid the objection.Oh, that’s no big deal… (or change the subject)
    • Do not “knee-jerk” to quick fix. I can take care of that!
    • Do not make assumptions about their real need.
    • Disengage—do not avoid. Calmly bring the conversation to an end for now, and come back to it later when cooler heads prevail.
  2. Make sure you understand the objection:
    • Involve to clarify: Could you expand on that for me? Tell me more… What are your concerns?
    • Active Listening — Restate: So your concern is… You’re saying that…
    • Disclose to connect and build trust: I was unaware that X was causing… My intention was to…
  3. Ask appropriate questions to get to the real need:
    • What are the consequences of this concern?
    • What would you like to see happen ideally?
  4. Respond appropriately:
    • Persuading: Here is what I suggest and why it makes sense…
    • Asserting: If I did X to meet your need on Y would you be willing to go forward… In my opinion it would…

This process shouldn’t take long. If you are really listening, your influence conversation will have a positive outcome for both of you. Not only that, the other person will be much more willing to deal with you in the future. But the real bonus is that you are actually improving your relationship with that person!

Positive Power and Influence

Sorry! We’ve given away all our free sessions. Check out our other posts for more freebies!